Current mood:	confused
Current music:	christina milian :: some day one day

ehh
so... this week was alrite... marty wasn't at millenium all week so the regular 10:00 classes weren't as full as usual. they were still coO though. i liked em a lot =P other than millenium, nothing really stands out this week. dangt, i just love that place.

i love all the people there. everyone's so driven and their talent inspires me to go out there and get what i want. don't settle for less! ARGH! it makes me not want to go to college. in 9th grade, i remember ms. hixon telling us that college isn't for everyone--hey... i'm startin to think college isn't for me. i really have no desire to go. what am i goin for?!!?! why am i makin my parents spend thousands of money?!?! What the hell?! do i just go to finish it all off, make everyone else happy, and then go for what i REALLY want AFTER college?... why the hell am i goin?! i'm tryin to be a bio major--WHAT THE HELL? i never went to sleep dreamin about bein a rich ass doctor one day and i never woke up wanting to be filthy rich either. are people like that? is anyone really passionate about that kind of stuff? probably.... but thoughout my entire life, i've had a dream of becoming a backup dancer.... damnt--that's what i want... and people can't tell me i can't do it either... if ya want it, go out there and get it, but damn--school's takin up way too much freakin time, and i'm pretty good at school when i wanna be, but damn. i dont know how the hell i'd manage both.

DAMNT.. i just dont wanna be stuck doin somethin i don't really like just for the money. GOLLY!!! if there's one thing i've learned from Maritz, it's exactly that!!!! i dont wanna wake up and say oh shizzle, work really sucks and i know i could be out there doin somethin else that i would really love to pursue--it might not pay as much... wait, forget it, this pays more, so lemme stay and bear with this boredom for the next couple of hours... then lemme wake up the next day and do the same thing over again for the rest of my entire life... but hey, it pays more... GOSH! money isn't everything!! i would rather be doin somethin that gives me a little more ounce of happiness than waste my time with something i feel like i'm forced to do. everyone HAS to make a livin right? i just dont wanna feel like i'm forced to. and my problem is that there's nothing else out there i could picture myself doing than dancing. out of everything this whole freakin country could offer me, there is nothing else that would make me happier..... but damnt.... i have to go to school because that's just the way it is. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! why the hell did i have to be a smart lil kid? why the hell did my parents send me to freakin magnet schools? maybe my decision would be easier if i never received good grades and gotten accepted to colleges... then my decision would be clear! =P

i'm goin crazy. so many decisions have been made already, but no final payments.... DAMNT! i hate school..

on another sad note, i cried for the first time in a very looooong time last night. why?! hmmm... let's leave that unsaid.

anyway..... think happy thoughts!!! I bought You Got Served so I can watch Harry all I want to--just kidding. But I do see JD and a couple of other people Jolly and I know from Millenium. I think I'm startin to fall for breakers =P Super Dave and JD have been calling everyday, which makes me very happy. He asked for Jolly and I was like, "JD, Jolly's sleeping right now," and the minute I said his name, Jolly jumped out of bed and she was like, "JD!??!?!?! I'm awake!" haha. Then, Super Dave called while Jolly and I were shopping because Robin was lookin for Jolly. Robin left a message on her phone... it was like, "Jolly, It's Robin! I just wanted to say thank you for the scarf! I'm wearin it every night, keepin myself warm... alrite, see ya at dance class!" in his cute Australian accent! Jolly has to listen to that message before she goes to work because she has to remind herself WHY she's goin to Maritz.... and that's cuz Maritz is the easiest job she can find that pays enough for her to go to Millenium everytime she wants to, but it's soo unbearably disheartening!!! SEE!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! why does work have to be like that?! Life is too short to be wastin it on pOOp even if you could be gettin money!! people need to be happy all the time!!! I want to be happy, and I know what makes me happy. Golly, I think i'm a hippy at heart.

I feel like i should be takin a class right now... err.. i'm crazy.

With that, I'm out.

--hip hOp star in training =P
Apreezee